What do I do when I’m stuck in family business that is currently hurting my health and holding my career back?
xec_7 asked:
I am a young educated engineer graduated from one of the top schools in Canada with diverse work experiences, network, and skill sets. For the last year, I have been helping our family businesses but recently fell ill due to toxic mold in a hazardous work environment. In addition to that, our family businesses are disorganized and poorly managed but should be profitable if we (mainly I) put more effort into it. I have a sister unfortunately she is not willing to help. My problem is that I don’t want to lose my window of opportunity to transition into a rewarding career by sacrificing any more time and health. I feel that I already sacrificed more than I am comfortable with but if I leave, the businesses and my parents will most likely fall apart. My sister and I will most likely inherit all this so it’s best to plan for it early. Furthermore, in our hard economic times some additional hundred thousand dollars per year also allows us much more buying power, jobs and vitality for the community, as well as insurance against other volatile investments.
I am a young educated engineer graduated from one of the top schools in Canada with diverse work experiences, network, and skill sets. For the last year, I have been helping our family businesses but recently fell ill due to toxic mold in a hazardous work environment. In addition to that, our family businesses are disorganized and poorly managed but should be profitable if we (mainly I) put more effort into it. I have a sister unfortunately she is not willing to help. My problem is that I don’t want to lose my window of opportunity to transition into a rewarding career by sacrificing any more time and health. I feel that I already sacrificed more than I am comfortable with but if I leave, the businesses and my parents will most likely fall apart. My sister and I will most likely inherit all this so it’s best to plan for it early. Furthermore, in our hard economic times some additional hundred thousand dollars per year also allows us much more buying power, jobs and vitality for the community, as well as insurance against other volatile investments.
I am torn between:
Family and entrepreneurial values vs. Selfish Career-oriented ambition???… any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Black Mold
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Black Mold
If you don’t want to run the business, hired someone competent from the outside. Sure, you’ll have to pay, but you will get value and you will be free to pursue your own career goals.
Black Mold
~~It’s tough working for family, especially if you are worried about this affecting your parents so harshly. If they have money to hire some one while you were searching for your own career, and you thoroughly trained them, then it probably would not affect them at all. You are taking a gamble here too if this is a future inheritance, so you need to weigh which is more important to you looking at the possibility it may not make it. I can honestly tell you we went through this with two of our kids who have worked and help grow our business. We miss them not working for us, but it’s so important to see them so happy and succeeding so well in their own careers. My suggestion is to have a heart to heart talk with your parents. Lay all you feeling, worries, guilt desires, emotions, etc on the line to them. If you can all put your feelings on the table I know you can sort this problem out where everyone is happy. Guilt for your parents should go away. A child can never be held responsible for our financial stability. However, they need to know this bothers you. It is ultimately going to come to you making the final decision, but letting your parents know how you feel is only fair. My heart goes out to you, I know it’s tough, but you must deal with this as an adult which means make sure you know what you want, then discuss with them. Best of luck!~~
Black Mold
I was in a similar situation but my field was law related. I opted to exercise my enterpreneurial aspirations and do something that I like which is lucrative, fun and incorporates all of my career oriented drive and ambition. You should branch out into something small so that you don’t feel trapped and stressed. I did and it did wonders for my psychosomatic reactions to stress. I haven’t fully relinquished my main career but now I have the option. Check out. You may gain some inspiration from there.
Black Mold
Hi- What a dilemma! It’s great that you have stepped in to help your family, but it is time for you to develop a transition plan for getting your own goals met. A couple of things to think about are first, reframing the way you are looking at this. For example, “selfish ambition” is really negative, but frankly, as a young professional, it is not a negative thing. Reframing it as you talk about it and think about it in terms of “clear career and professional aspirations” can help remove some of your guilt about this and help you move forward in a positive way- it sounds like you feel like you are abandoning your family, which you do not have to do. You also use the word “entrepreneurial”- perhaps there is a way to meet your own goals and still support your family business. I would need more information to help you think through that one, but overall, this is a transition period, and you can find ways to take care of yourself without leaving your folks business high and dry- it will just take some time and planning. I’m a Career and Life Coach, and would be glad to talk with you and do some coaching around making this transition if you’d like. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough information form your question to give you a bunch of concrete things yet, but, given the way you’re talking about this, I’m sure you can find a way to make this work. You can learn more about me at my website:
Hope this helps, and let me know if you’d like to work a bit on this.
Mary